By Luis Mila
My name’s Luis. I’m just like you, except I’ve never been comfortable with my feelings. I have whatever your typical teen would have: a dysfunctional family, love and attention from my friends, stuff like that. It really does feel like I’m stuck on top of a ferris wheel—one minute I’m at the top of the world, and the next I’m at rock bottom.
Love, Simon—which I used to believe was overhyped, and romanticized homosexuality—is a movie I can relate to, and was something I didn’t expect at all. It hit home in a serendipitous way.
For starters, the actors portrayed every single personality seen in a high school. There’s those that quite literally sniff their chips, the wannabe astrologists that analyze their dreams, the self-conscious ones with social issues, overly confident party animals, and the couple that’s always making out. There was an aspect of the movie that everyone can relate to, even if they’re not a gay teen.
Simon, played by Nick Robinson, defined the movie perfectly in a scene where he said he didn’t want to be “too gay”—this wasn’t just a gay love story, but a coming-of-age story for all teens.
The movie perfectly captured a teenager’s life: Simon’s messy, yet precisely clean room; parents who always think we’re up to no good; annoying siblings that we can’t help, but love; friends that we have troubles with, but genuinely can’t live without; and even hormonal acne.
Then, there’s the parts where Simon hesitates to admit his sexuality to himself. My personal experience was mirrored in these scenes, where you say “I’m…,” and choke up—it just doesn’t roll off the tongue. It’s a tremendous step to even begin to admit to yourself that you don’t fit into the definition of society’s “norm.”
Simon’s decision to come out to Abby first was one that struck me deeply. It outlined what it’s like to come out to someone for the first time; most of the time it’d be your best friend. The words “I’m gay” are spat out so quickly you have to step back just to think about what you just said, and let the other person process it.
The reaction afterwards was another check on the mental list I made before the movie. Abby’s shock, yet understanding. Her saying she already knew. Simon’s relief that it didn’t blow up in his face. His disbelief when she said she knew.
The quick succession of emotions that are exchanged when you first come out, a secret that has to be kept, are all too familiar to me, and others who struggle with coming out.
Simon’s crush on Bram, eventually revealed to be Simon’s anonymous pen pal, Blue, replicates all those ideas and feelings that go hand-in-hand with having a crush. At the Halloween party, Simon makes attempts to get closer to Bram, playing beer-pong with him, and teaming with him instead of Abby.
We all make sacrifices to be with someone we view as our future lover. Simon spends the night getting drunk with Bram, instead of his friends, and they even embarrass themselves by sing karaoke together, developing a stronger bond than originally perceived.
This bond is broken all too quickly when Simon walks in on Bram making out with a girl. This moment is one that I recognize far too well—you’re talking to a boy but the interest isn’t mutual, seeing as he’d rather spend time with a woman. Similar situations happened with Lyle, and Cal, other candidates for Blue, until Simon realizes they’re not his true love, nor fellow homosexuals.
Another aspect that was captured perfectly, was the experience of being outed, and the blackmailing that can go behind it. Martin discovered Simon’s email exchange with Blue, threatening to out Simon to the school if he didn’t comply with helping Abby fall in love with Martin for who he is. It’s terrifying, and you’d do anything to hide this part of yourself. You’re not ready, and your brain is stuffed with white noise, and about to explode from excessive pressure.
Moreover, Simon isn’t yet comfortable with the idea of openly talking about the attractiveness of other men when he’s admiring the football players with Abby at the homecoming game. Abby’s “fiiinee” is difficult for Simon to comprehend, and he’s reluctant to display the same attitude, but they share a laugh when he finally does it.
This interaction is something that a lot of people should reflect on: how a straight female teen can freely discuss how she gawks over men, but for a gay teen, who just recently came to terms with himself, it’s hard to come by. You’ve denied yourself this feeling for so long that it’s become normal, and you really just never thought to express your feelings towards other men.
Next is the idea of you having to be one to let the world know your true self. The tension built up in this whole scene, the quivering breath, and teary eyes is all forced into Simon’s reply of an extremely vulgar word. Simon tells Martin that he took away something from him, something that no one else had the power to do except himself, and that it hurts: the power to come out and let everyone know the truth of who you exactly are.
Sobbing, I thought back to the time my own mother had told my father I was gay, and I felt so hurt, that she did something that I was supposed to. I felt guilty for thinking that way, and invalidated those thoughts, yet now I see that they’re actually okay.
Simon’s mother, Emily, tells her son that he’s still the same person that he’s always been, and that she felt him holding his breath, holding a secret, for such a long time but didn’t want to pry. Simon’s father, Jack, shares his remorse for all the jokes he made—another thing that a lot of gay teens experience—and says he loves Simon for who he is, and he would never change Simon.
Not everyone gets to have this warm acceptance, and that’s saddening, but the apprehension behind telling your family, in fear of their perspective of you changing is a lingering feeling familiar in every experience, and it takes guts of pure platinum to even do it.
Near the end, Simon and his friends all go to the carnival, where Simon gives all his tickets to the ferris wheel conductor, and publicly announced that he’ll be waiting for Blue. The night is coming to a close, and Simon is running out of tickets. The conductor proclaims that if anyone would like to see Simon, they need to come now.
At this point, Martin has the nerve to lie, and say he’s Blue, which Simon obviously finds unbelievable, before Martin, in a moment of minor redemption, pays for another ride to give Simon more time.
And as I held my breath along with everyone in the crowd, Blue—Bram—reveals himself. It felt like fairy tale magic, and brought smiles to everyone’s face. Blue takes his rightful seat next to Simon, quickly explaining the misunderstanding with the girl he was making out with at the party.
Simon goes in for a kiss with his newfound love. Then, another. And then, the final one. Goosebumps erupted everywhere, and my waterworks were uncontrollable. It was the raw love, connection, and interest these two had between each other that made this relationship seem authentic, and never ending.
“I would love to continue seeing representation for not only gay people but lesbians, bisexuals, transsexuals, asexuals, and so on. And also people of color, ” says Lauren Prieto, a sophomore from American Heritage School.
The experiences they’ve shared, and hardships they’ve both encountered on their personal journeys is what adds that “realistic” aspect to this couple, what made this movie an awesome story.
“It didn’t change my perception of gay teens. I guess I’ve always understood that being a homosexual came with lots of difficulties that I could never possibly understand as someone who isn’t gay,” says Nicole Hernandez, a sophomore at Miami Lakes Educational Center.
At the end, it is seen that Simon’s life returns to normal after he owns his sexuality. The only difference is that he has a boyfriend now. It shows there’s life after coming out, and it’s not as bad as the media mostly portrays it to be.
There was nothing that this movie missed, and in fact, it did more than I expected. Even if you’ve already watched it, in the words of Nora Spier: “Shut the hell up,” and watch it again.
